Uncyclopedia

I forgot this jewel existed until a revisit today.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Singapore


Generalizations of Singapore
The following contains some social perceptions in the modern day of Singapore:

1. Caucasian Dude with Singaporean chick = Singaporean chick likes tall and handsome outspoken guy.

Singaporean dude with Caucasian chick = Is that white bitch of sound mind?

2. Caucasian Dude open door for lady = gentlemanly and impresses everyone around.

Singaporean dude open door for lady = copy Caucasians, people around get suspicious and wonder "is he trying to score points here?"

3. Caucasian Dude chats up SG chick = interesting and involved conversation in no time.

Singaporean dude chats up any chick = creepy encounter, hesitant conversation.

4. Caucasian Dude speaking broken Chinese = cute and amuses everyone around

Singaporean dude speak fluent English = banana, soon outcasted by Singlish-speaking friends.

5. Caucasian Dude drive sports car = James Bond aura, chick magnet.

Singaporean dude drive sports car = Chao Ah Beng.

6. Caucasian Dude in suit and tie = CEO.

Singaporean dude in suit and tie = MLM.

7. Intelligent Caucasian Dude = Professional, outspoken, sporty, loaded, enjoys life, extroverted.

Intelligent Singaporean dude = independent worker, nerdy, softspoken, introverted, un-streetsmart, wins olympiads.




Sounds true to me.