The following lines may be used to
i) dump a girl/guy
ii) insult someone's intelligence
1. My love for you is like press freedom in Singapore [or democracy in China] - non-existant!
2. I've been dating you for 2 years, and I think you should have been named Sandy - like the bitch (beach)!
3. I think you're like the Sahara Desert - big in size, empty in substance.
4. You're like Haw Par Villa - old and useless!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
The Irony Kills Me
As the first cohort of Yr 6 students, you would expect the school do much as it can for the sake of our welfare.
The irony is, we don't even have a proper room to call our classroom. Meh. I can sympathize with the school's decision to not have fixed classrooms for the Senior High cohort, but I'm still not entirely with the irony of the situation.
*****
Here's a though-provoking poem Mdm Nora showed to the Lit class about a fortnight ago. Explains that the standarization of the society has led to the loss of individualism.
The Unknown Citizen
(To JS/07/M/378 This Marble Monument Is Erected by the State)
He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports on his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.
Except for the War till the day he retired
He worked in a factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.
Yet he wasn't a scab or odd in his views,
For his Union reports that he paid his dues,
(Our report on his Union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way.
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,
And his Health-card shows he was once in hospital but left it cured.
Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Installment Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,
A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.
Our researchers into Public Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for he time of year;
When there was peace, he was for peace; when there was war, he went.
He was married and added five children to the population,
Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his generation.
And our teachers report that he never interfered with their education.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.
-- W. H. Auden
Simple analysis here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unknown_Citizen
******
The Senior High Student Council Investiture paled in comparison to that of the Senior High House Inauguration. I really felt that the theme was that of a Chinese wedding dinner. Firstly, there was that lame music you would hear when the dinner is being served. Secondly, there was a speech made by a guy and girl thanking everyone for their presence. Thirdly, there was a video showing the old photos of the Yr 6 members of the SC, who have officially retired as I speak. Fourthly, there were balloons and poppers being fired, as if Hillary Clinton had just won a string of primaries after losing to Obama (off-topic).
However, the only thing that sets apart this investiture and a wedding dinner is that most of the audience left the hall disgruntled without any nice food.
The irony is, we don't even have a proper room to call our classroom. Meh. I can sympathize with the school's decision to not have fixed classrooms for the Senior High cohort, but I'm still not entirely with the irony of the situation.
*****
Here's a though-provoking poem Mdm Nora showed to the Lit class about a fortnight ago. Explains that the standarization of the society has led to the loss of individualism.
The Unknown Citizen
(To JS/07/M/378 This Marble Monument Is Erected by the State)
He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports on his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the Greater Community.
Except for the War till the day he retired
He worked in a factory and never got fired,
But satisfied his employers, Fudge Motors Inc.
Yet he wasn't a scab or odd in his views,
For his Union reports that he paid his dues,
(Our report on his Union shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with his mates and liked a drink.
The Press are convinced that he bought a paper every day
And that his reactions to advertisements were normal in every way.
Policies taken out in his name prove that he was fully insured,
And his Health-card shows he was once in hospital but left it cured.
Both Producers Research and High-Grade Living declare
He was fully sensible to the advantages of the Installment Plan
And had everything necessary to the Modern Man,
A phonograph, a radio, a car and a frigidaire.
Our researchers into Public Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for he time of year;
When there was peace, he was for peace; when there was war, he went.
He was married and added five children to the population,
Which our Eugenist says was the right number for a parent of his generation.
And our teachers report that he never interfered with their education.
Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard.
-- W. H. Auden
Simple analysis here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unknown_Citizen
******
The Senior High Student Council Investiture paled in comparison to that of the Senior High House Inauguration. I really felt that the theme was that of a Chinese wedding dinner. Firstly, there was that lame music you would hear when the dinner is being served. Secondly, there was a speech made by a guy and girl thanking everyone for their presence. Thirdly, there was a video showing the old photos of the Yr 6 members of the SC, who have officially retired as I speak. Fourthly, there were balloons and poppers being fired, as if Hillary Clinton had just won a string of primaries after losing to Obama (off-topic).
However, the only thing that sets apart this investiture and a wedding dinner is that most of the audience left the hall disgruntled without any nice food.
Monday, April 7, 2008
I'm not gonna write you a love song, but I'll talk about it here
(be warned)
Disclaimer: Everyone has different music tastes. That I know.
In some blogs, there has been some active discussion over the lyrics of certain love songs, and usually these songs are Mandopop ones. And if you haven't noticed by now, I am quite critical of Mandarin songs. Of course there are gems like Fish Leong, Tanya Chua and Sodagreen. But generally, the quality of Mandopop is just appalling and disturbing to me. According to my observations, the lyrics of Mandopop love song manifest in the following ways
- oh i love you so much
- oh i can't leave you
- oh why must we break up
- oh let me this line that sounds philosophical and sophisticated but in actual fact it's just to con people to like the song.
- with lots of cheeze on it
Regarding the first 3 points, such songs may be OK/not bad sometimes. But for most artists, their lyrics in this genre tend to be superficial, so going wow over some lyrics on a Gary Cao song (hate! hate!) is not going to please me the slightest bit.
So what do I like? Songs that carry a political message. Love songs that aren't too direct and explicit are worth looking into too. Bitter love songs also tend not to be superficial. It helps that the singers can actually SING too.
Waiting On The World To Change - John Mayer
Rise Up With Fists - Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
What I've Done - Linkin Park (I would agree that Chester doesn't have good vocals)
Shame On You - Andrea Corr (sounds hip, but is raising awareness of the poor in Africa)
Xiao Yu Zhou - Sodagreen
Disclaimer: Everyone has different music tastes. That I know.
In some blogs, there has been some active discussion over the lyrics of certain love songs, and usually these songs are Mandopop ones. And if you haven't noticed by now, I am quite critical of Mandarin songs. Of course there are gems like Fish Leong, Tanya Chua and Sodagreen. But generally, the quality of Mandopop is just appalling and disturbing to me. According to my observations, the lyrics of Mandopop love song manifest in the following ways
- oh i love you so much
- oh i can't leave you
- oh why must we break up
- oh let me this line that sounds philosophical and sophisticated but in actual fact it's just to con people to like the song.
- with lots of cheeze on it
Regarding the first 3 points, such songs may be OK/not bad sometimes. But for most artists, their lyrics in this genre tend to be superficial, so going wow over some lyrics on a Gary Cao song (hate! hate!) is not going to please me the slightest bit.
So what do I like? Songs that carry a political message. Love songs that aren't too direct and explicit are worth looking into too. Bitter love songs also tend not to be superficial. It helps that the singers can actually SING too.
Waiting On The World To Change - John Mayer
Rise Up With Fists - Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
What I've Done - Linkin Park (I would agree that Chester doesn't have good vocals)
Shame On You - Andrea Corr (sounds hip, but is raising awareness of the poor in Africa)
Xiao Yu Zhou - Sodagreen
Thursday, April 3, 2008
The Theory of Life
When you're successful, you suddenly realize your close friends become even closer.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The Man Etiquette Test
Here's a chance for you men to find out how compassionate and sensitive you are to women. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Simple Duties
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows. (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up. (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty. (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom. (-2)
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings. (+5)
But return with beer. (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something. (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron. (+10)
It's her father. (-10)
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party. (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy. (-2)
Named Tiffany. (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer. (-6)
Tiffany has implants. (-8)
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner. (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar. (+1)
It is a sports bar. (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)
A Night Out With The Boys
And the pal is happily married. (-4)
Or frighteningly single. (-7)
And he drives a Mustang. (-10)
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED). (-15)
A Night Out
You take her to a movie. (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called Death Cop 3. (-3)
Which features cyborgs having sex. (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)
Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too." (-800)
The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?". (-5)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes. (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+10)
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep. (-20)
Scoring
Start with 50 points and add your score to it. If you ended up with +15 then your score would be 65 for the 65th percentile. If you got -15 then your score would be 35 for the 35th percentile.
Simple Duties
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows. (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up. (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty. (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom. (-2)
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings. (+5)
But return with beer. (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something. (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron. (+10)
It's her father. (-10)
Social Engagements
You stay by her side the entire party. (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy. (-2)
Named Tiffany. (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer. (-6)
Tiffany has implants. (-8)
Her Birthday
You take her out to dinner. (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar. (+1)
It is a sports bar. (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)
A Night Out With The Boys
And the pal is happily married. (-4)
Or frighteningly single. (-7)
And he drives a Mustang. (-10)
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED). (-15)
A Night Out
You take her to a movie. (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called Death Cop 3. (-3)
Which features cyborgs having sex. (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)
Your Physique
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too." (-800)
The Big Question
She asks, "Do I look fat?". (-5)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Communication
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes. (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+10)
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep. (-20)
Scoring
Start with 50 points and add your score to it. If you ended up with +15 then your score would be 65 for the 65th percentile. If you got -15 then your score would be 35 for the 35th percentile.
Clearly unhappy
Why do the school choose to announce the results of failed sports teams in the national finals that didn't win any medal(s), and fail to announce the results of our Scholars' Cup participation? Pfft.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Le haha 2
"I know, Ping Yen is skinnier than me!" - Lim Ying Xian (sulking)
"She patted (no pun intended here) my boyfriend!" - Lim Ying Xian (clearly distraught)
"lets revolt like the tibetan kids" - Cindy Wang (another dismayed girl)
"She patted (no pun intended here) my boyfriend!" - Lim Ying Xian (clearly distraught)
"lets revolt like the tibetan kids" - Cindy Wang (another dismayed girl)
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